Tools For Men: Praying With Your Wife

Praying With Your Wife

Purpose

To make it easy to launch the habit of praying together

Advance Preparation

• Spend a few minutes reviewing the reverse side.
• Plan a time to discuss the “First Steps” section with your wife.

Impact

A frequent routine of prayer together dramatically reduces the likelihood of divorce by improving spiritual connection, marital trust and physical intimacy.

Obstacles

• INTIMIDATION:  Many men feel awkward about initiating prayer with their wives because they perceive her to be more spiritually mature.  But you don’t need to be a spiritual giant to lead in this area.  You just need to initiate.  She doesn’t expect perfection.  But she does long for you to make the first move.
• BACKGROUND: Some grew up in homes where prayer was silent or non-existent.  Praying out loud in front of others can feel uncomfortable.  Start by holding hands while praying silently together then squeeze hands when you are done.  Then graduate to “one sentence prayers” and so on.  Take baby steps.
• SCHEDULES: Jobs, kids, travel and other life realities will get in the way.  Piggyback your prayer habit onto existing routines (i.e. bedtime, driving, etc.) at least twice per week rather than setting lofty but unattainable goals.

First Steps

Discuss the following with your wife before launching a simple prayer routine.

1.        How will we pray?  (Choose a place to start)

⧠        Silent prayer while holding hands

⧠        One sentence prayers about shared concerns

⧠        He prays while she silently agrees

⧠        She prays while he silently agrees

⧠        Take turns praying out loud

2.        What will we pray for/about?  (Mention 2-3 in each category)

⧠        Giving Thanks

⧠        Our Needs/Concerns

⧠        Our Kids/Grandkids

⧠        Our Dreams/Goals

⧠        Family/Friends/Acquaintances

3.        Guidelines for overcoming obstacles:

⧠        Humility:  Agree that you are just two of God’s children seeking help rather than spiritual giants hoping to inspire or impress one another.

⧠        Silence:  When either of you doesn’t know what to say agree to mention a topic and then pray silently.

⧠        Reminders:  Either can “nudge” the other back on track whenever your prayer routine wanes. No guilt or remorse.  Just a fresh start.

Going Further

A Prayer@Home guide and audio podcast are available from the @Home Room. You can also click here to learn more.