Pointers

Divorce Recovery

Divorce Recovery

CCCH Marriage & Family Ministry

with Kurt Bruner, The Center for Strong Families

When people suffer a heart attack, they make significant changes in their lifestyle to recover and survive. With divorce there has been an attack on your heart. To recover and thrive, you may need to make significant life changes as well. You may be looking at the broken pieces of your life and feel as if your unique circumstances are hopeless. Be encouraged! God is in the business of creating masterpieces. He has plans for you for a future and a hope. He wants to pick up the broken pieces of your life and create a beautiful mosaic that will bless you and bless others in ways you never could have imagined. (Read Isaiah 55:8-9, Jeremiah 29:11-14, and Romans 8:28)

SEEK HELP

You are not alone. There are brothers and sisters in Christ who love you and want to help you. Attend church on a regular basis. Contact the church office for information on biblical guidance.

FAST AND PRAY

Fast for a month (or more) from social media. Turn off Facebook, Instagram, or other social media sites that you check into. Each time you think of taking a second to post to a social media site, take a second and say a prayer to God instead. Each time you think of reaching for your mobile device and reading your social media, reach for your Bible instead and read God’s Word. It will shine as a light to guide your path. Instead of complaining about what happened in the past, spend time planning and talking about God’s future blessings that will come next in your life. (Meditate on Philippians 2)

FINANCES

Many people suffer financial stress during this time. Take steps to become a godly steward of the finances God provides. Begin by praying Proverbs 30:7-9. To learn how to live a debt-free life, read The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey. To learn how to manage money with a godly perspective, read The Treasure Principle by Randy Alcorn. For financial help in a group setting, contact the church office for information regarding the Crown Financial Ministry.

MERCY AND GRACE

Mistakes. Unhealthy choices. Sin. Repent today and ask God to forgive you. Accept His forgiveness, mercy, and grace. Forgive others as He has forgiven you. Choose today to make life changes to “Go and sin no more.”

OVERCOME EVIL WITH GOOD

Make it your goal to forgive others and walk in godliness. Let God be your protector and your provider. (Meditate on Romans 12:1-2 and 9-21) Ask God to show you how to overcome evil with good. Don’t be like people who lived in the days after Moses led the Israelites to the Promised Land. Everyone did what was right in their own eyes and it was a disaster. Don’t ask yourself, “What should I do for this specific situation?” Instead ask the Holy Spirit to teach you, “What does the Bible say to do about this?” Wait at least a week for God to speak to you. If you still need guidance after that, ask a godly Christian or a pastor to help you understand what answers the Bible gives to your specific questions.

GOING FURTHER – Resources

It should be noted that Calvary Chapel Chino Hills does not necessarily endorse any particular resource and the entirety of its content.

 Recommended Book:

Available from the CCCH Bookstore

Helping Children Survive Divorce by Archibald Hart

How can children successfully survive the trauma of divorce? In friendly, heart-to-heart language, Archibald Hart offers divorced parents specific ways to help children cope with the psychological and social damage that comes with divorce. 

Recommended Website:

Focusonthefamily.com – Go to top right corner and search for “Healing the Wounds of Divorce.” Go to top right corner and search for “Helping a Young Child Recover from Divorce.”